


Destroyer

by Jen425



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Decade, Tokusatsu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Background OT4, Major Character Injury, Oneshot, Open Ending, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26237233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: In which things go slightly differently after Tsukasa limps away from the photo studio, and the Rider War is still far too close at hand.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	Destroyer

**Author's Note:**

> I’m working on a very big project rn but I wanted to take a break.
> 
> This is a ONE SHOT to take a break from my longfics

He’s lost everything. He deserves it.

The thoughts war in his mind as he lays in the rubble of his world. At some point, rubble had trapped him, his legs crushed.

It aches unbelievably and yet doesn’t even come close to the pain in his heart.

He’s failed in every way and along the way, he lost everything that mattered.

Sayo’s voice behind the black eyes of some twisted version of Kuuga, using  _ his _ Yuusuke’s body to punish him.

Natsumi alone at home, not letting him in because of what he’d done.

A terrible person.

And isn’t that true? His memories are still doggie, but he knows he’s killed, conquered, genocided, broken.

Kamen Rider Decade. He’s been called the Destroyer of Worlds. Maybe it figures that such a thing would include his own.

It hurts so much. He can feel his consciousness fading.

He welcomes it and dreams that he never wakes again.

Maybe then he can gain some form of retribution and never again be forced to see the aftermath of his mistakes.

He’s a monster, a disgraced villain, and he likes to believe that someone else, a real hero, will find a way to stop this where he had just let Shadowmoon lead him along

  
  
  


He comes to, and it’s night. He’s still in pain, but it’s faded to a background throb.

He wishes he could just die, but that would take from here, transforming, taking his sword and stabbing himself through. The thought alone takes mor energy than he has.

In the distance, he hears screams.

He fades back out, not long after.

  
  
  


He wakes up again, and it’s also the day again. Maybe he’ll die of dehydration, since he’s in a hidden enough spot for no one to find him.

He isn’t sure he likes the concept. Seems slow.

Not that he really has a choice.

He considers trying to get comfortable until he remembers the wreckage which had crushed his legs.

What was thinking again?

(The pain isn’t excruciating.)

  
  
  


Unfortunately, it’s still daylight when he comes to again.

He’s lucid enough to know that really, truly, this is not waking up or going to sleep. Except that he knows his own final sleep is coming.

He actually laughs at that, at final sleep. So stupid.

He’s getting delirious, is that a good thing? It means this will all be over soon, at least.

Why does it feel so cold?

  
  
  


He comes to for a moment, and he doesn’t remember much, just the sound of voices and the feeling of the debris being pulled from his legs.

  
  
  


He comes to in a bed, legs wrapped in makeshift casts.

No, he thinks, though it’s hard to think because he still hasn’t had any water, and he knows he’ll die soon. He’s too cold and too hot, and everything hurts, and can’t this be over already?

He can barely see even when he opens his eyes.

And then he feels the bed shift, and someone is pulling Tsukasa up, carefully, and there’s something at his lips, and please, he just wants to have it all end.

But his body is so desperate that he doesn’t think, he just drinks.

And the other person moves, and he lets out a cry of distress before he realizes it.

The mystery person sighs and takes Tsukasa’s hand, and they stay there until Tsukasa goes, for the first time in days, to actual (if fitful) sleep.

  
  
  


The next time he wakes up, he’s still fervish, still unable to focus his eyes, but another person is already making sure he drinks, stroking his hair.

He has enough energy now to try, for a short time, to fight it, but he can’t help it.

The kindness is more than he deserves.

  
  
  


He isn’t counting days with these observations, but it’s a few more awakenings before he can focus enough to realize that this is home, and it’s Natsumi who’s moving to give him liquid, which he realizes now must be a drink in this cup other than water.

He doesn’t realize he says her name until he hears a hoarse voice murmur it.

She pauses.

“Tsukasa…”

“Natsumi,” Tsukasa repeats, no teasing “Natsumikan”, just her name. “Why…”

Natsumi looks away.

“I couldn’t leave you like that,” she says. 

“Oh,” is all Tsukasa can bring himself to reply with,

“But I haven’t forgiven you, either,” Natsumi adds.

Tsukasa hadn’t expected forgiveness.

  
  
  


Daiki is there the next time, and Tsukasa is silent. He doesn’t know what to say or ask, and everything hurts, and why hadn’t they just left him to die?”

He doesn’t know.

  
  
  


Natsumi makes him eat something. Tsukasa does what she asks without complaint. He wishes it was enough to make up for anything.

Death still sounds so comforting, right now.

  
  
  


He’s been staying awake for longer. He hates it.

  
  
  


He wakes up to voices, and so he keeps his eyes closed.

“It reminds me of when I found him,” Natsumi says. “I…”

“Tsukasa has his way of sneaking into your heart like a parasite,” Daiki replies, and Tsukasa remembers dragging a confused half-willing Daiki back to his world. “You can’t escape him, Natsumelon.”

“I can’t forgive him, either.”

  
  
  


Tsukasa dreams of Yuusuke, smiling at him during the competition. Then the face morphs into Rising Ultimate, and Sayo steps out of the shadows.

“You failed me,” they say in unison.

He wakes up with tears in his eyes.

  
  
  


“Hey, Tsukasa,” Natsumi says, and Tsukasa doesn’t let himself react. “The worlds are still…”

“The Rider Battle was a lie,” Tsukasa replies, simply. “Every Rider except myself and Yuusuke were captured when they lost. Tsukikage and Sayo had every intention of getting rid of me. Maybe they were right.”

The words sound wrong on his lips. They just ring too true.

“Oh,” Natsumi says. Tsukasa says nothing.

He makes no excuses.

He doesn’t let himself admit his other conclusions.

_ I think the worlds are merging because of  _ **_me_ ** _. _

  
  
  


Apparently, it’s three weeks after it began that he decides he needs to escape the studio. He knows he doesn’t belong here, not anymore, despite what Natsumi had confessed to Daiki.

It’s a few days after that where he wakes up at night, pulling off his casts and limping to his closet. He drags on new clothes, makes sure the pants are long and loose enough to hide his legs and not cause then unnecessary pain until he wants it, even if he plans to transform, the moment he escapes.

(Escapes from this place that was home before he realized how little he deserves it.)

It’s a good thing he does, because as soon as he exits the studio, he feels a  _ pull. _

“Decade.”

A new location. A pull. And…

“You!”

The man from the start of this, he’s…

“Kiva.”

He tells him that he had done the wrong thing in every way, and Tsukasa almost laughs.

“You must be destroyed,” Kiva says, and Tsukasa… almost just accepts it.

But then he remembers that Yuusuke is still under Sayo’s control, his friends still kidnapped by Tsukikage.

“Will that save the Riders that Dai-Shocker has?” Tsukasa asks. Kiva is silent. He seems to have forgotten; with his memories returned, Tsukasa easily returns to his dimension.

And thus, a Tsukasa does so.

“Not yet,” he says.

He’ll happily die, once he’s fixed his mistakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @flaim-ita or @dancingqueen-mai for just Toku edits


End file.
